Tomorrow is the big day! Claire will be 1 and we will be celebrating her birthday rainbow style!
There is a quote on the Rainbow Baby group that says "everybody wants sunshine, nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain." I love it and my super reader Makayla loves to say it over and over when she reads it :)
I have been asked many times what the term "rainbow baby" means. The definition that best describes it initially is this....
"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."
It's very simple to label Claire as our rainbow baby and snatch up every rainbow item we see in the store for her (and I do!) but it encompasses so much more than that. If 2 1/2 years ago I would have been given the option to walk the road that was ahead of us, I would have turned and ran the other way. I would have never agreed to a fatal diagnosis, carrying my child to term and have her die in my arms....NEVER! I would have spared our family, our marriage and our children the pain and sorrow. Through my naive eyes, I would have turned and never considered ever trying to get pregnant again.
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11.
I know my plans are so much different that what God has in store for my life and someday it will all make so much sense. If I had been able to determine my own path, we would have been robbed of so much joy to our family. I would have never known how strengthened we could be by allowing God to carry us through our toughest times. AND we would have missed out on our rainbow baby Claire!! I'm not thinking Claire should the responsibility of our family's happiness, I am just so thankful and grateful that she is here and we have been given the opportunity to raise her in a Godly way!
A year ago today I had such high anxiety and fear that something would go wrong before I made it to the hospital to be induced. A year later I sit in awe of how beautiful, silly and amazing this little girl is and I cannot believe she is already 1!!!
This is pretty rambly but that's just how it's going to be today! I don't know that all of my thoughts were put into words the right way but I need to shut the computer and get busy on party preparations!!