Clean-ish Pancakes?

This week we have found ourselves in a position of having plenty of food in the house but not enough to make a meal.  Do you know what I mean?  You know, we have peanut butter and jelly but no bread, pasta but no sauce, everything to make tacos but no shells....and the list goes on!  Tonight I decided to try some pancakes, eggs and turkey bacon.  We had dinner late but we still ate and nobody had to make an emergency trip to the grocery store!

I don't know how clean these pancakes actually are but they are 100% homemade, I even made "buttermilk" for the first time!  There were no complaints!  And I had to have my favorite omelet with mushrooms, peppers and mozzarella cheese, yuuuummmm!!  

I had to double our recipe since we are feeding several but we still had a few leftovers.  

The recipe used was:

• 3/4 cup milk
• 2 tbsp white vinegar
• 1/2 cup white flour
• 1/2 cup wheat flour
• 2 tbsp stevia
• 1 scoop vanilla protein powder
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 egg
• 2 tbsp melted butter

Directions

1. Combine milk with vinegar in a medium bowl and set aside for 5 minutes to sour
2. Combine dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl.  Whisk egg and butter into "soured" milk.  Pour the flour mix into the wet ingredients and whisk until lumps are gone.
3. Head on skillet coated with cooking spray

Family Pictures

"There were photographs I wanted to take...."

We got our first family pictures since welcoming our 5th baby girl to our family last week.  Quite noticeably, there are only 4 girls in the picture.  I cannot even begin to put into words the ache I feel every time I see a new picture of us and Olivia is not there.  I can just picture having our little 3 year old with big blue eyes right in between Greg and my legs.....

*pictures taken by my friend Tisha with Priceless Images by Tisha

"I feel so sorry for you!"

This has been on my mind since last night and I just cannot quite shake it.  We are all guilty of saying ignorant things, I'm sure I stick my foot in my mouth more often than I even realize!  With that being said, before I even write this post, I will say that I am going to try to be more conscious of what I say to people, especially strangers!

Last evening I ran an errand and since I am obviously pregnant, strangers are making comments, which is ok!  I absolutely love the question when I am alone, "Is this your first?"  Haha, the face change when I answer "No, it's my 5th" is so funny!  People think you are insane or just don't understand how this keeps happening.

I got the question last night, then it rolled into gender.  Another girl.  Yes I have all girls.  To this, the stranger proceeds to laugh, as do I.  She continues with "Oh MY GAWD, I feel sooo sorry for you!"  Mind you, I have never met this person in my life.  I did not complain about having girls.  I just kindof laugh it off and say "it's what we do!"  The woman goes on and on about how horrible it must be with all the hormones in the house, how terrible it will be when they all grow up, and how sorry she feels for me (about 5 more times).

I am so glad I was alone, my girls do not need to listen to that.  They do not need to think that they are all just a product of trying to get that perfect boy so we can finally stop having children.  I get that most people think that we have tried (and tried and tried again) to have a boy but we have not.  At one point, Greg and I both thought a boy would be nice but quite honestly, we were hoping this one was a girl!  Can you imagine bringing a boy into a house full of sisters and being the youngest and only one?  We would have been thrilled but God did not make a mistake with this one, or the other 4! 

As this woman continued ranting about how horrible having 5 girls would be, I just kept thinking, "lady, if you only knew, you would feel really horrible!"  5 girls is a dream.  Five healthy, living, breathing children...is a dream!  Our reality is that this will only be our 4th one at home.  Olivia died and here we are just wishing we could have that 5th girl at home to just have be so dreadful, awful, hormone filled.  It made me sick. 

I do not blame people for their comments, having that many girls in a row is quite the conversation starter but this was just over the top.  It has made me think A LOT today of what I find myself saying.  I try not to complain about my husband to friends, especially in public but what if I did find myself doing that and a widow was overhearing what I had to say.  Yes, marriage is not perfect but I'm sure a woman who is missing her husband would much rather have him home being a slob than to never see him again!  Work on the slob at home, just do not throw a fit about it in public.  (I am guilty of this myself, I love you Greg but the dirty rolled up socks....see I'm guilty too!)

Ephesians 4:29~ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Yay!!! We may have conquered bedtime!!!

Something magical has happened in our house!  Claire has finally hit the point over the last couple of days that we can put her to bed, before she is completely knocked out, without a complete fit!  This is huge!

Let me give you a little backstory.  Claire nursed for almost 16 months, so in that 16 months, she fell asleep nursing for every single nap and bedtime that I was home for.  Once the nursing stopped, it turned into having to rock her to sleep each night.  Not just asleep, out past the point of no return asleep!  It was brutal!  Of course since she was my rainbow baby, there was no way I was going to let her cry it out.  I tried a few times but it broke my heart and I just could not do it.

Fast forward a few months, we are less than 8 weeks from having this next baby girl and finally decided this was ENOUGH!  I surprisingly didn't have to let her cry it out.  I did for one nap, she cried 5 minutes, I don't think she ever went to sleep but she stayed in her crib.  Now, for the last 2 nights and todays nap, she went down without a fight.

When we went to her room I told her it was bedtime, told her I would sing one song while rocking then she had to go to bed.  And just like magic, it worked!  I feel like angels are singing right now, our house is so quiet and no adults are imprisoned in a rocking chair for half the night!

Now if only we had our house cleaned up before the kids went to bed, that would be extra magical!!

We did it!!!

We did it, we made it to school on time!  Not just on time, 5 minutes early....and I did not hate this morning! 
Funny thing is, nothing changed for today except Hannah's getting dressed schedule.  She got up, I told her I was setting the timer for 3 minutes to get dressed.  That was all the encouragement she needed, she was dressed in 1 minute!  Typically it is at least 20 minutes for her to get PJs off and clothes on.  We all woke up late-ish too, I'm not going to try to figure it out but accept that we got to school without a fight.
I don't know if that was the magic solution we needed but it worked for today!!  Just over a month and we get summer break :)

I hate school mornings!!!

I wish I didn't, but I just hate school mornings.  I have tried and tried to find a good balance and organization to get out the door at a good time.  Somehow it ALWAYS turns into a rushed, crazed, yelling mess to get out the door and get the girls to school at the last minute to not be tardy....again.

We have tried getting absolutely everything in order before bed, clothes picked out, lunches made, shoes by door, backpacks packed.  This takes a lot of time out of the mornings...and they are still late!  I cannot figure out the perfect solution, just last quarter, we had 9 tardies.  9!!!! 

Most mornings are pretty nice until the last 5 minutes and the world explodes because homework is not in the backpack, shoes are lost and where is that jacket?  Which Makayla went to school without today :P

If anyone has good solutions, please share!  Don't be offended if I say we have already tried that it and it didn't work, I'm asking because I feel like we have done it all.  I just want a peaceful trip out the door!

Feeling Much Better!

I always seem to blog when I am having "one of those moments."  Whether grieving or my life just seems like a wreck, then suddenly, it all turns around and life is good again.  Well....had another one today!

Our morning went pretty good, I got the big girls to school...on time and with everything they needed!  Claire and I came home and I finished getting ready so I could get to physical therapy by 9.  My babysitting plans fell through and I did not have an emergency backup lined up.  As we are about to walk out the door, she pours half a cup of chocolate Shakeology all over herself, her coat and the kitchen floor.  I had a major flip out, meltdown, not proud of myself at all kind of a moment!  I changed her clothes and left the rest of the mess for later.

On the way to physical therapy, I about had a major lose it moment.  I really had nobody to call.  I could have called my grandma but she was on vacation, I would feel better and she would hang up feeling crappy.  I really did not want to burden my friends and hang up.  Greg was working and unable to talk, I had already freaked out to him and probably screwed up his day.  I felt alone and in the midst of it all I thought "I don't have to feel this awful."  I had one of the rare moments of letting go of my control.  Pouring my heart out to God, I was pleading for him to take control of the day, to help me handle situations better, help me set a better example for my children, be a better/less freak outish wife.  It only took a few minutes of tears and total surrender and from that point, the day just kept getting better.

I managed to make it to PT, Claire in tow, about 7 minutes late.  The [very kind] receptionist told me that she did not know if I would be able to get my PT in since I was late.  Of course my completely composed mess of a self started crying even though I really understood.  They were kind enough to let me go ahead.  Claire was very good until the very end when I ran out of a fruit snack bribe.  Everyone was so nice and understanding, I was feeling much better!

Then we had to run over to my OB appointment.  It's always fun to try to pee in a cup with the help/audience of a 19 month old, but you do what you have to do :)  That went beautifully, I was told that Claire was "really good but busy like a boy."  That cracked me up because it is true.

By the time we got to Wal-Mart, a whole 4 minute drive, Claire had crashed.  I put her in a cart and used my hand as a pillow and had a super helpful worker get me lunchables to take the girls for lunch.  We were out of all lunch food and they would not eat the sloppy joes that the school was serving.  She woke up on the way back to Altamont to meet her big sisters for lunch.

Today did not go at all how I had planned, it rarely does.  It is so nice to know that in the midst of it all, God is ALWAYS in control.