Feeling Much Better!

I always seem to blog when I am having "one of those moments."  Whether grieving or my life just seems like a wreck, then suddenly, it all turns around and life is good again.  Well....had another one today!

Our morning went pretty good, I got the big girls to school...on time and with everything they needed!  Claire and I came home and I finished getting ready so I could get to physical therapy by 9.  My babysitting plans fell through and I did not have an emergency backup lined up.  As we are about to walk out the door, she pours half a cup of chocolate Shakeology all over herself, her coat and the kitchen floor.  I had a major flip out, meltdown, not proud of myself at all kind of a moment!  I changed her clothes and left the rest of the mess for later.

On the way to physical therapy, I about had a major lose it moment.  I really had nobody to call.  I could have called my grandma but she was on vacation, I would feel better and she would hang up feeling crappy.  I really did not want to burden my friends and hang up.  Greg was working and unable to talk, I had already freaked out to him and probably screwed up his day.  I felt alone and in the midst of it all I thought "I don't have to feel this awful."  I had one of the rare moments of letting go of my control.  Pouring my heart out to God, I was pleading for him to take control of the day, to help me handle situations better, help me set a better example for my children, be a better/less freak outish wife.  It only took a few minutes of tears and total surrender and from that point, the day just kept getting better.

I managed to make it to PT, Claire in tow, about 7 minutes late.  The [very kind] receptionist told me that she did not know if I would be able to get my PT in since I was late.  Of course my completely composed mess of a self started crying even though I really understood.  They were kind enough to let me go ahead.  Claire was very good until the very end when I ran out of a fruit snack bribe.  Everyone was so nice and understanding, I was feeling much better!

Then we had to run over to my OB appointment.  It's always fun to try to pee in a cup with the help/audience of a 19 month old, but you do what you have to do :)  That went beautifully, I was told that Claire was "really good but busy like a boy."  That cracked me up because it is true.

By the time we got to Wal-Mart, a whole 4 minute drive, Claire had crashed.  I put her in a cart and used my hand as a pillow and had a super helpful worker get me lunchables to take the girls for lunch.  We were out of all lunch food and they would not eat the sloppy joes that the school was serving.  She woke up on the way back to Altamont to meet her big sisters for lunch.

Today did not go at all how I had planned, it rarely does.  It is so nice to know that in the midst of it all, God is ALWAYS in control.